hub has debt and is in denial - The Finance Forums: Financial planning, debt help, loans, mortgages, retirement and 401k, investment, and general finance discussion forums

beaner · #1 (**permalink**) 05-08-2008, 08:10 PM

I could just slap the tar out of MYSELF for not finding this out sooner, but it's too late and I am in this mess so I was wondering if you guys could give me some advice.

When my hubby and I married a year ago he told me his debt was around 30K, wouldn't show me his paycheck stubs, or any of his bills. He told me he has been on his own for most of his life and is very responsible. STUPID ME believed him and fell in love. A year into this and I found his credit card statements - he is more like 46K in debt, has no equity what so ever. I put my foot down and told him either I have full access to his financials or I walk. He is coming around, but not like I would like. He says he doesn't like to look at the bills because it brings him down and he can only afford to make min payments on the cards. Last month he charged $600 on a card - HE IS NEVER GOING TO GET OUT OF DEBT LIKE THAT....HELP ME PLEASE.

maat55 · #2 (**permalink**) 05-09-2008, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beaner

I could just slap the tar out of MYSELF for not finding this out sooner, but it's too late and I am in this mess so I was wondering if you guys could give me some advice.

When my hubby and I married a year ago he told me his debt was around 30K, wouldn't show me his paycheck stubs, or any of his bills. He told me he has been on his own for most of his life and is very responsible. STUPID ME believed him and fell in love. A year into this and I found his credit card statements - he is more like 46K in debt, has no equity what so ever. I put my foot down and told him either I have full access to his financials or I walk. He is coming around, but not like I would like. He says he doesn't like to look at the bills because it brings him down and he can only afford to make min payments on the cards. Last month he charged $600 on a card - HE IS NEVER GOING TO GET OUT OF DEBT LIKE THAT....HELP ME PLEASE.

You two need to get on a budget together. I know you don't like book referals, but reading the Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey could help you alot.

Nothing will change until both of you are on the same page.

bba060503 · #3 (**permalink**) 05-09-2008, 08:38 AM

My only advice is that you should pay a mminimum payment plus interest amount to get rid of it.

beaner · #4 (**permalink**) 05-09-2008, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maat55

You two need to get on a budget together. I know you don't like book referals, but reading the Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey could help you alot.

Nothing will change until both of you are on the same page.

I gave the ol'boy an ultimatum - either he shows me all his stuff or I am walking =) so now I am going to sit down and work on that budget...thanks!

beaner · #5 (**permalink**) 05-09-2008, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bba060503

My only advice is that you should pay a mminimum payment plus interest amount to get rid of it.

I never thought of adding the interest to the min payment - good idea!!!

snigster · #6 (**permalink**) 05-19-2008, 02:43 AM

Just out of curiosity, how much is the mimimum payment and how much is the interest each month? Interest on $46k must be far higher than the mimum payments?

maat55 · #7 (**permalink**) 05-20-2008, 03:11 AM

I think his credit cards need to somehow disappear. You need to get him under control, for sure. There is nothing worse than a bull in a china closet.

Jerrydill · #8 (**permalink**) 05-21-2008, 08:22 PM

I am sure that there are also some financial counseling services that he can attend. Those might be a little expensive. Another option is to take full control of the bills and his credit cards. We all have problems I understand, but it sounds like he needs to talk to someone about his spending habits especially with such a large debt.